feeling it .

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-paying the price...

thanks, yet again.

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just how grateful.
just how forgiving.

just as it is,
the stars are hidden on a rainy night.

i should stop opening up stitched wounds.
i should let them heal.
and never tear it open again.

the only way to prove this...
time will tell. (:

this night i took a step to define myself.

recall ...

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there is alot...
to ask.
to say.
to remember.
to forget.
to rejoice.
to regret.

SAAAMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

& i know you`ve gotten sick of me, Adik.
i`ve been terrible to youuu...
i hurt myself for hurting you...
yet the pain you suffer is greater than mine.
i need to fix myself...
fast.
real fast.

help.

outside the green zone .

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"When people get hurt, they learn to hate. When people hurt others they become hated.

But knowing that pain allows people to be kind, pain allows them to grow, and how you grow is up to you.

You know pain, you think about it, you learn to live with it,
but when pain becomes attach with revenge and anger, pain becomes aweful and strong,

it makes you blind."

Pain (Nagato) from the series Naruto Shippuden.

Pain is proof you are living, it means you are not dead yet.
It means there is hope.

i have washed it away :)

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for those who didnt realise,
my blog's past background were black for a reason.

now you can see what you might have missed.

i realise the screaming pain .

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maybe i shouldnt even bother talking about it.

suppressing what should not be .

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the stars are hidden on a rainy night.
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-
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disgusted .

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what happened to me?

i only kept hurting. :(
epecially you, Adik.
i didnt knew those 3 months of SIP would leave a grudge this deep in me.
never have i felt so much hatred.

and for being selfish, i cause pain to others.
Adik, i deeply regret if i hurt you in any way.
need to get rid of this black stain on my heart.

its the end of the line aint it ?

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I failed, I lost it.

and i thought i can understand. but i just dont. all that i have brought... is just pain pain pain... i dont know what im doing. my purpose in life? gone. i wish i can go far away now. i dont wish to remember nor remembered. i need some time.

my heart is dying.
i need a transplant.

the darkness burns ; the sunlight stings

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You make me high.
You make me real.
You make me cry.
Now you know the way i feel.

Right me when i`m wrong.
I`ll never let you down even if i could.

But for that one reason,
I don't understand.
Why? Why this path?

Adiikkkkkkk! (: