-



I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

-

SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET

-


The Hidden Confession
you`re not like the other girls

The Unseen Butterfly

-


Don`t Save Me
The World Once Known Will Leave Me

honestly, i am about to scar my own heart again.
honestly, it won`t make any difference.

MY FIRST RAYA AT FRIEND`S HOUSE

-
yesterday went to Syarul`s house.
can say about half of PID year 2 contigent.
XD
and i`m the only one wearing traditional =.="
nevertheless.. it doesn`t matter.
i`m just sian about my capal.
its like CROCS for malays you know! HAHA!!!
yeaa it broke. so i wore shoes.
so i looked weird laa can.. hahaa.

so yeahh met up at aljuneid mrt station.
everyone gather there.
its been some time since we met up each other since hols.
well for some laa.
then we marched until the overhead bridge where our dear Syarul came to lead the way.
she`s still in her NPCC clothing. PT kit eh? think so.
so we continue the march thru a gas station, a company building, some coffeeshops...
and then we found ourselves outside the door of her house.

her house is at a corner.
its damn superb!
you know what i will call it?
a good strategic location (for our PID course that is)
because you can do your practical work outside without disturbing your neighbors.
COOL!
and she can still say "not enough can do until the lift lobby there."
my face went O.O
thats what we call, using the premises to the max! hahaha..

okayy so we all settled down in her house.
her house is cosy and her granny is there.
the granny look like one of my grandfather`s sister.
really. when i look at her, i like "ehh like got see before..."
hmm.. haha..
okayy then we were invited to eat.
they all like "whats this whats that"
hahaa.. and Syarul go explaining to them.
seems like for most of them its like first time eating malay traditional food.
hmm okayy not traditional food.
but Hari Raya dish.
that is the ketupat! XD
yeahh.

the ketupat is nice.
plus the mutton.
actually i don`t really really like mutton.
but in a case where a stomach goes berserk, nothing is spared.
ohh but i still never take the sambal goreng.
call me picky but i don`t like sambal goreng.
if i were to take ONE thing out of it, i will pick the prawns.
HAHA! serious.. XD
at home i always kebas (steal) the prawns..
but of cos le ingat orang belakang. (rmmbr other ppl who also wanna eat)

then we makan makan plus watching a chinese show on TV.
superb! i tell you. no not the programme. but the way we do things there.
hahaa.
eating a malay food in a malay house while watching a chinese series.
L O L .
something rare i tell you.
yeah.
and the awesome part is when colin, cheris & cheryl "help" the actors in the series talk.
talk words that differ from what they are talking. HAHA.

so some of them left some time after eating while the rest still chill there.
we continue makan-ing the kueh.
xinger is the best.
she ask for more kueh when its finished.
hahaha. she damn funny.
then Syarul even gave her a plastic bag to take away.
HAHAHA! thats just ZOMG! XD
yeahh.. so we chit chat for a while more before taking leave.
great evening spent.

plus its my first time ever raya-ing at a friend`s place.
thanks to Syarul & family!
for inviting us all down.
(:

pics will be uploaded soon! XD

--------------------------------Girls---------------------------
---------------- ------------are like apples---------------------
--------------- -------on trees. The best ones----------------
---------------------are at the top of the tree.----------------
------------------The boys don`t want to reach--------------
-------------------for the good ones because they----------------
------- ------------are afraid of falling and get hurt.-----------------
-------------- Instead, they just get the rotten apples------------
---------------from the ground that aren`t as good,-------------
-------------but easy. So the apples at the top think---------
--------------something is wrong with them, when in----------
----------------reality, they`re amazing. They just-----------
----------------have to wait for the right boy to--------------
--------------------come along, the one who`s------------------
-------------------------brave enough to-----------------------
------------------------------climb all-----------------------------
------------------------------the way-------------------------
-----------------------------to the top---------------------------
-------------- ----------- ----of the tree------------------------------


some random thing i dug out from old folders in my comp.
hmm...
i dont think it is the shape of an apple tree. XD

REMINISCENCE

-

Dunman 5A `06

HEY ALL THOSE PEOPLE IN THIS PHOTO ARE MISSED MAN!
of course, the 5B peeps too (:

we`re scattered all over Singapore now.
i believe none had migrate right? XD

coming to school in the morning with homework undone.
sleepy eyes, heads on the table.
mp3 still on, earpiece in the ears.
pinning our identification tags (name tags) on our uniform.
lining up at the parade square according to our registration numbers.
"MAJULAH SINGAPURA".
stoning away while the one at the podium finish all the talking.
anticipating teachers` absence for the day.
uniform check thru the line of councilors.
the pulling up of socks, tucking in of uniforms.
fridays tie days.
guys will try to make their hair look short.
girls will try to make their skirt look decent enough for school standard.
bringing food & drink ration in class because recess is never enough.
play capteh/soccer during recess time.
paus and milos, most of the times.
pull-up bars, pull off some stupid stunt & LOL together.
ohh and the rings of the bells.
talk crap joke laugh in class.
rushing to finish schoolwork when bells about to ring off.
if cannot finish, bug someone who could help.
the random spot check for handphones and other gadgets.
adrenaline running thru the whole class.
people trying all kinds of ways to hide their handphones.
& sometimes its just a false alarm.
last lesson everyone pay attention to clock more than teacher.
listen to the list of names who received detention announced thru PA system.
rejoice as school ends for the day.
everyone scatter off.

gather everyone & leave.
walk down memory lane.
go the mama shop opp school.
buy curry puffs & drink.
walk thru the grassy plains, & under the longkang.
try to play with the fishes.
jumping across the water & randomly get wet.
come out of the longkang laughing.
& get caught for once by the police thinking we`re some punks.
picking old coconuts & throwing them into the water scaring the cranes.
walk all the way to pasir ris interchange.
dropping comrades off one by one.
and finally taking a bus home.

there`s more to this of course.
sounds mischievous?
dont judge by all that alone okay? XD
damn, i miss secondary school life (:
i miss my friends.

yeah, i know.
we must always look forward.
but hey you know, looking back once in a while, doesn`t hurt.
(:

-


How Do You Kill Your Emotions?
Drown In Them, & Get Numb.



where are the happy hearts...

-

The Kebaya

-
Its about the middle of Hari Raya period and still many people are Hari Raya-ing. For my family, yeah, there are still many houses we`ve not yet been to. Hmm.. Time really does fly past. And next week is just great: The Start of School. Okay i shall say it in a more tragic way: The Start of P3. =.="

okayy nevermind, i came here not to waste my time talking about school things. HAHA!
just that i wanna talk about the kebaya.

"A Kebaya is a traditional blouse worn by women in Indonesia Malaysia Brunei and Singapore, sometimes made from sheer material and usually worn with a sarong, batik or other traditional knitted garment such as a songket with a colorful motif."
- excerpted from Wikipedia

okay i just seem to be rather observant about the way Kebaya 'helps' present a lady or girl or woman or child. its like the girl is presented in a gentle and 'neat' way with the kebaya. hmm.. no matter how you look at it, it IS traditional but it still suits in this modern time. well the Modern Kebaya kinda helped with it. the Kebaya kinda like brings out the feminine-ness. oh and im not saying that girls today are 'rough' and 'tough'. i don`t know. i just find malay girls wearing the kebaya rather beautiful than when they wear shirts and pants. haha.

yeah. thats that about today's post. great. D-day -5. and im not prepared. hmm..

An Abandoned Wish

-

A Beautiful Flower Will Bloom,

When The Time Comes.

7th Oct `08 - Pond Trip - Fishing

even though we returned with no catch,
its the best time we had in ages!
really, i had a great time guys!

let the pictures help me talk ^^




















CHECK OUT!

The Fishing Gods - Friendster
Home Of The Gods

HALO LANDFALL -- WATCH !!! XD

i just really hoped the movie is not dropped and is still in the process.
and it better be 2009!!!

XD

Big Mouth Billy Bass

found in fifi`s blog!
OMG I WANT ONE TOO!!!
XD

black WILL paint over white

SACRIFICE YOURSELF


I WILL BE THE DEATH OF YOU

this world is nothing more than just filled with deceptions & lies.
of course, there is truth & love.
PURE truth & love that is.
for there are those of which are just a fake.
fake to close up the gap between each other.
and when the right time comes, the heart grew black with dark intentions.
and one will step ON TOP of the other` head to succeed.
there are real cases, of course.
i don`t just spit this all out without having went thru this shit myself.
hold your thoughts about a biased point of view.
wake up, this is the world we are living in now.

not many hearts out there are sincere.
not all promises are fulfilled.
not everyone is willing to sacrifice for someone they 'love'.
if its love you call it, why abandon the one for your own comfort & safety.
RUBBISH!
People nowadays are just selfish and ignorant.
they say: "ALL FOR ONE, ONE FOR ALL!".
hah. don`t make me laugh.
in the end, its purely: "EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!"
isn`t this the real shit eh?

yeah yeah some will still babble about "there is always love"...
"there is still people out there who cares about you..."
=.="
screw it.
i know it. it does exist.
kind hearted people that is.
they exist in EXTREMELY HUGGEEEE number.
like finding a needle in a haystack.
tsk.
this world truly needs LOVE.
your best friend sitting beside you.
you trust him/her.
but whats goin on in the mind of your best friend?
do you know.
HEY HEY!
i`m not saying i`m freaking paranoid or or saying that you should stop trusting people.
i myself have best friends.
i trust them, because they trust me.
because we sacrifice for each other in times of needs.
and i have NO DOUBTS about our friendship.
nice ehh? NICE!!!

well reflecting on what my friend had said before.
she says "All humans are born innocent.".
that itself explains alot.
and i do believe it yeah.
HUMANS ARE NOT BORN EVIL.
its the environment, the people around one
that makes one ONE.
but hey! you can change right?
you can be decisive and wise.
to be someone that will be loved and trusted.
someone where people can spill their hearts content to
someone who. will. not. leak. them.

i just wish not to see the ones i love to be a victim of the heartless.
people, stop saying "I LOVE YOU", "WE ARE ONE", "I WILL PROTECT YOU", blablabla...
IF YOU DO NOT MEAN IT.

say it only when your conscience is clear, & the heart is sincere,
and most importantly, YOU`RE CAPABLE OF EXECUTING IT!
please, do not make vows or promises or simply words to others,
if you know you CANNOT FULFILL THEM!
start caring FOR REAL!
without that EVIL THOUGHT infesting your mind.

HATRED IS NOT TO BE ANSWERED WITH HATRED!

have a great day ahead.

really, it doesnt matter. ^^

DSTH VOCW
FTIM LHGT KIQP DSTH
KIQP DSTH
HWRU LHGT JAXN FTIM
DFAL ERSZ KIQP OEHQ UNDF XDSV DSTH
RAQH ERSZ OEHQ
DFAL VOCQ ERSZ
?

am i right?
damn, right i am.
tsk.


darkness will kill the light,
& blood shall shed.

WASTED!

SAMARRA

(:

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI
MAAF ZAHIR BATIN