staring at the starry night.

boo, i'm still missing you.

the empty universe.

had a talk with a friend and the topic about commuting long distances came up.
it reminds me of during my National Service days where we would get 'nights out'.
i remember how excited i was whenever we get those.
would contact you straight away and arrange for a meetup.
its only about 3 to 4 hours but we do make it happen.
even if the travelling takes about an hour's time.
meeting halfway - me from the west and you from central.
amazing how the desire to see the one you love makes you do anything.
anything at all to be able to hold their hand and gaze into their starry eyes.
they became your world, one which you would not hesitate to sacrifice for.

what about me?

you no longer have feelings?

think think.

would you kill an innocent, complete stranger to save the person you love the most?

tumblr.

our tumblr is 2 years old now.
i remember how i started it.
i was so happy to build a place where we can post our memories.
most importantly it was created to surprise you.
in conjunction with your 24th birthday and our 4 years of togetherness at that time.
but now it is just laid barren.
:'(

vermin.

what makes you think you made a great sacrifice?
how could you believe that what you did was right?
it was never right when you're the only one wielding the sword.
no, that is also wrong.
it was never right when the other person never, ever, in his mind feels the need to even have one.
and you took advantage of that.
you took advantage of him.
you exploited the situation.
such inexplicable acts.

goals.

in order to achieve their goals, some people are willing to do whatever it takes.
stepping on people, lying, hurting others' feelings.
the process where people get pushed aside does not matter.
the only process they see is them working hard and striving for their goals.
unfortunately, however, this is the human world.
life is not meant to be fair, right?

3 faces.

each person has 3 faces.
the first face, you show to the world.
the second face, you show to the people close to you.
the third face, you show to no one.

that face is the truest reflection of who you are.

FILTH! no lesser than that.

manusya-gati.

human beings have always been the problem to many things in this world.
they are driven by their selfish basic needs to survive.
strong desires are capable of overwriting emotional bonds.
from birth to death, each and every bit of their actions affect this world.
much more on the negative side than the positive.
these could not be seen or felt by them because they are ignorant.
or perhaps simply do not care, to put it bluntly.
as long as there are human beings, there can never be true peace.
well actually if their emotions can be killed, it could be possible.
it would be a world of robots, a pointless world.
however it would be one where there would be no suffering.
no happiness, no sadness, no anger, no desperation, no pain.
and if there is even a tiny bit of that, i seek it.
you ordinary people will never truly understand this.

injection.

this is the kind of world you live in with your twisted, wicked mind.
live long. live long enough to suffer every single bit of bitterness that life has to offer.
cower in the corner of your heart, one filled with blackness, where the devil resides.
cry and beg and pray as all hope escapes and abandons you in your sin.
shiver in coldness on the inside & burn from the heat outside.
this is the path you took.
this is the life you will lead.
this is your injection.