Tuesday, January 16, 2007

after so long...

its been very long since i updated my previous entry.
well partly becos of my Os (lame excuse it's done months ago),
maybe becos i'm lazy. ya tts the thing.
well now tt i'm bored while awaiting the results, i might as well chuck in something here.

past few daes.. no no. past few weeks! yea. from the past few weeks or so i've been on off in searching for a part time work. sick and tired of it. haha. but well at least i've met some of my pri skool frends whu r also searching for work. so instead of reallie searching for work, some of the times we end up goin to town and not doin anythin except telling each other abt our lives since we've parted some 5 years ago. well its quite fun. just met some of them. there's more but i dunno where they are. lose contacts.

apart from so-called "searching for work", i'd been helping out my mum at home wif some household chores and running errands. i've reallie wished i'm still skooling. its great to see ur friends' faces evrydae in the morning in class. but wen skooling, there's the "cracking heads" and homeworks. stress stress. thats the thing abt students. wen there's skul, we dunwan to go but if there's no skool, we want to go. well im not saying all students are like me. lets say tt if only skools are there just for us to meet our friends.. tt'll be great rite. haha. wad in the world then skools are for.

other than those activities i've mentioned above, i've also been goin out fishing wif my friends. haha. its so shiok.. if its a perfect dae of cos. a cloudy day near the sea.. veri relaxing. then one of my friend Regu, ferst time fishing. damn funny guy. bring lotssa stuffs and acting as a pro angler. haha.

and the other dae..to be exact: 06 01 07. was my 18th bdae. yea.. coincidently my class had a bbq tt evening. so just went for it. not many noe tt tt dae was my bdae. haha. tt doesnt matter. wad matters is wad happens hours later - i was pushd inside a shallow pool - for the so-called bdae bash. its just tt theres no bash. i was so so wet. for the ferst time wet thoroughly inside out in my shirt and jeans. haha but its fun. reallie. but before tt i remembered we played ice & water. haha.. the best thing for an 18 yr old guy whu later fell head ferst from the playground top afta been chased by a little girl. haha. great dae. simply the best.

lately for the ferst time in my life, i'm starting to think and take matters greatly. well some may sae "crazy" or "so?". i dun tink its something to do with me being 18. just tt for some stupid reasons, i've been claiming tt life's unfair and i was so so depressed and i began to think real hard why in the world it haf to happen to me rite now and why am i so stupid to have made myself stupid. i noe u all wont noe wad im talkin abt. mayb those whu r close to me noe. well... i noe its a brand new year & like ppl sae start anew. start fresh. i know tt. but wad if the past reallie just wont leave you. wad if its forever embedded in my memory, not letting go? i know many ppl out there have the same feelings as me. there are many ways in forgetting about it. the only thing is tt i'm the one whu free willingly do not want it to leave me thought i reallie wish it did. thats the problem. no worries abt me. i can just pretend that i'm okay.


i'm having nightmares of you;
~ saMIR ~

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