no closure.

eyes grow weary,
each step is heavy.
all lights fade out,
soul left in doubt.

the suffering screams,
tearing heart's seams.
despair fills this space,
this never ending maze.

//

We've spent more than 5 years going to places. And its alot of places. Almost everywhere I go now, reminds me of the memories we shared there and then. I will sit and stare at nothingness as the memory reel spins through my mind. Flashbacks after flashbacks after flashbacks. I will smile a little. A weak smile. For one moment I was back in time, having the time of my life with you. Our hearts fluttering with joy. Rainbows and butterflies. (Of course not butterflies. You are afraid of them.) We separated but I still love you. You stayed in my heart for a long time and I wanted it to stay that way. Suddenly all these swirls into nothingness and anger gripped me. Furious. Furious at how you abused my trust. I was mad. But it was pointless. At that point when you lied, your heart was no longer with me. You no longer loved me. I was in my own happy world thinking of more days, weeks, years to come, and being by your side. How naive I am to think that you could be my first, my one and only forever. Disappointed. After all these years, you just stabbed my heart from the back and ran away, leaving a blood trail behind. I was in disbelief. I trusted you with my life. And there is no conscience in you to at least, at the fucking least, end this cleanly. After all these years, you finally showed what kind of person you are. Perhaps to you this is ok. But you should know that it is not. Here is a man whose heart you have broken and his soul crushed. Eventually he will heal with time, no matter how long it takes. If you have any humanity left in you, please help me close this chapter of my life with respect. Maybe, just maybe, we can move on. Or I would rather say, me.