i. miss. her.

omg.

i miss her.

that girl.

i miss that girl.

nobody knows who.

hahaha.

i damn sad.

you know why?

cos i miss her.

-

love doesnt need a reason :)

-

-

-

inBlack&Red,

` samarra .

i need help with this blog!

HELP! I NEED HELP WITH THIS BLOG!!!

i dunno how to do that damn archiving thinggy.

HEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!

Malaysia's Most Horrifying Crime!

-
CURSE THE MURDERER!!!
-
bloody hell heartless.
kill a girl who is so fragile.
May God punish the murderer with a punishment equal to the pain the girl felt.
May Justice be uphold.
-
peace,
` samarra .

clipped from asia.news.yahoo.com Malaysia sickened by "girl in sports bag" case KUALA LUMPUR (Reuters) - Malaysians have reacted with outrage and revulsion to the country's most horrifying crime in years -- the murder of an 8-year-old girl who had been tortured, sexually abused and then dumped in a sports bag. Malaysian dailies and Internet blogs have been filled with anger and disbelief after the girl's naked body was stuffed in the bag and left outside a shophouse near the capital on Monday, fuelling talk that she was the victim of a serial sex offender. At first, no one came forward to claim the dead girl's body, police identified the victim from DNA tests as a missing girl, Nurin Jazlin Jazimin reported missing on Aug. 20 after she went alone to a night market in Kuala Lumpur last seen being dragged into a white van by a man. Nurin's father refused to accept the DNA result on Thursday He and his wife had earlier told dead girl did not look like their daughter

-

-

-

today is the 8th day of fasting.

kinda bored at home.

i miss school.

yeahh.

bcos at school, u've got friends.

talk2 and u can forget about the screw goin loose in your stomach, seriously.

damn i miss my friends.

its been nearly a week now into school break.

and there'll be another week.

siann...

-

-

-

the days are looonnggggg & dryy.

eh but just now in the afternoon, the wind was damn strong.

very nice.

i opened my room's window annnnnddd... WHOOOSSSHHHHHH!

nice, cooling wind.

thought sometimes food & laundry smell does swept by. haha.

reminds me of the days spent at the beaches where i'll usually go fishing.

damn. i miss fishing too.

nevermind. afta fasting month, & maybe skip a couple o weeks of hari raya, i gonna hit the beach.

to FISH!

mann.. THE FISHES MISS ME!!! LOL.

-

-

-

but lets not go that far yet la eh.

im now at home.

listening to music. "mercenary - redefine me."

just finished terawih.

thinking of what to do.

im so so so... dunno la.

just wish school come back fast.

haha.

anyway i goin out wif my friend this weekend.

goin shopping. that sounds so 'girlish or ladylike'.

haha. i dont care. all i know i gonna go on a shopping spree!

buying a Crumpler side bag.

and some other few stuffs which i still dunno yet.

random laa.

-

-

-

hmm. thats it la for now.

i wanna go search for games.

hahaha. passing the nite....

-

-

-

.................................................................................

-

-

-

MERCENARY - REDEFINE ME lyrics

-

-

Feel this illusive dream that's growing

Flowing into view

Take this immense participationIs it really you?

Fall back, my secret window

-

Feel free to let me lose

My mind, my mind

Twisting I feel abandoned

-

Look back to set me free

To purify, to purify

It makes me want to scream, to fall out of this dream,

-

It makes me want to find the things I thought you wanted

It makes you want to try to leave it all behind

The time that still remains I'll use to redefine me

Find me...

-

Now all that's left with me this feeling

Am I all alone?

Stretching I cannot see you clearly

Am I losing you?

-

To speak I'll try to save you

Feel free to let me find

My innerline, my innerline

Have you simply lost the answer

Will you take the hand I give?

To redefine, to redefine

-

This illusive cry

I AM

Your secret window

I AM

All that's left with you

I AM

Redefinition

-

I am losing you

Fading in, you're fading out

-

I'll redefine my dreams in the hours that remain

I'll try to understand, to redefine myself.

-

-

-

.................................................................................

-

-

-

inBlack&Red,

` samarra .

JTHM

bored. just digging out about JTHM. a comic thinggy. kinda cool. this one thats standing out is one of the characters. his name is SQUEE. haha. im just being random at posting this. so... if u feeling random too, just look around.

clipped from www.sccs.swarthmore.edu

monday bluess..

hihi.

well.. i dunno wad to talk about.

cos if you can see, its alredy 3 consecutive days i posted entries to my blog.

and its rare.

VERY rare indeed for me to find time to go blog.

haha.

okae, nvm.

_

_

_

so today actually i woke up as usual.

and no.

no skool today but i woke up early so can do work in school.

i just cant concentrate at home.

so i woke up, bathe and dressed up.

then since its still early, 0800, i switch on my comp and play music watch videos.

and what a surprise.

it rained.

-.-

it was heavy.

it was a draggin rain.

i usually walked to school cos its near.

so i waited for the rain to subside abit.

waited...NO.

waited...NO.

waited...NO.

the rain just wont stop.

just wont subside.

im getting tired of it.

heck care.

put on my cap and walked out.

took a bus.

haiizz.. monday morning rain.

to me its a bad start for the day.

_

_

_

so in school then.

i was the ONLY 1st year there.

Ivy came in late.

the rest of my friends, i hear no news from them.

anyway its monday so DES school got no classes for that day.

later. much much later Ivy came.

settled down. talk2 abit.

and not much much later, she wanted to go lunch.

okae. lunch. alright.

haha.

we walked down to the designer's pad and what a surprise!

not a soul there.

okae in other words, stalls all closed.

siann..

so we headed to mensa, a canteen quite nearby and what a surprise!

too many souls eating there.

i was like whhattttheheelllll.

-.-

"Ivy, lets eat outside then."

agreed.

waa its totally shit man gotta walk ouuuuuutt ooffffff sschhhhooooolll.

haiz. crap.

_

_

_

so we had lunch at a coffeeshop.

came back.

Shawn came.

he's from the other class.

rarely gotta talk to him.

so we talk2.

and our work is like on the table, waiting for nothing.

haha.

then Kenneth came.

and what else do we do?

talk2 again.

hahaha.

in my class i reckon only me & Kenneth listen to metal songs.

i found out Shawn listens to metal too.

Cradle of Filth..Dragonforce..Metallica.. and more laa.

i browsed thru his hp music library actually.

haha.

caught a glimpse of a few only cos i dont bother to scroll & find anymore.

cos we were all so indulged in conversation.

then Kenneth said, "wanna DOTA?".

hahaha.

no need to say, i confirm agree one.

Ivy wanted to play. thought twice. then "its okae, i'll just stay here."

Shawn didnt want also.

so its just up to me & Kenneth.

lol.

we hit the CAD lab.

_

_

_

START!

Kenneth chosed TINKER.

i chosed my all-time fave PUGNA.

okae heres the thing.

i found out over the weekends that dagon is powerful in the hands of Intel Heroes such as Pugna.

i about to try it today okae.

so i bought a few stuffs that is required of dagon & chiong!

i farm, Ken farm.

then he attacked me.

hahaha.

here comes the funny & stupid part.

i attacked him.

he got his hit points reduced. not that much.

and he complained. lol.

he said i got lotsa stuffs in my inventory.

so whaattt! so whhaatt Kenneth!!!

u can get items too!

u went farm just now. confirm got lotssa gold wad.

(FYI, he's quite a gd player. more experienced than me. im just a month into DOTA.)

tensed, bored, i dunno what has gotten into him, he left the game.

-.-

so i was like playin alone. like a stupid guy.

nvm. i bought dagon & wasted them on his crits.

just wanna test out.

whoa tell u its damn cool.

DAGON ROCKS!!

lol.

so afta that, just end the game.

and went back to the studio do my work.

siann..

k just lets fast forward the day.

_

_

_

and so Bryan, Ivy, Kenneth & I in the school library.

doin our work.

haha. Bryan got stressed & played DOTA on his laptop.

Kenneth, on the new World of Warcraft on his laptop.

Ivy hardworking. chiong on the drill assignment.

I was quite ahead of them. did my drill alredy. just need detailing.

so i watched Ken play.

then watched Bryan.

haha.

im so pathetic.

siann.. hope i can buy laptop next year.

then later Ivy left ferst.

was at 1800.

later. much much later, then 3 of us left.

_

_

_

had dinner in KFC.

LOL.

yeaa.. guess thats all for today.

so now im gonna do nuthin afta this entry.

just rot infront of my comp.

i NEED DOTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wahahaha.

despo NO.

_

_

_

okae la.

til next entry.

bye.

.

\m/

inBlack&Red,

` samarra .

the past...

DON't LOOK BACK!

the past.

should we ever reminisce the past.

do they bring any good?

those filled with euphorias will.

but, what about those filled with dark histories?

it just feels like im now walking past a tunnel.

a tunnel so dark.

only lit by candles by the sides.

on either sides of the walls, are my memories.

either by writings, objects or photos.

as i walk past them, i remember exactly what happened on those days.

either a birthday party? a prom nite? a mishap? an accident? a valentine's day? or a disaster?

i picked up something from memories of 2006.

somewhere in the early months.

at first i thought it was a stick.

as i rubbed my fingers along it, something pricked my finger.

i brought it near a candle light.

it was a rose.

it's thorns had my finger bleeding.

the rose is still as beautiful as ever.

like preserved for the next thousand years.

it's scent is still strong.

just like a boy's love for a girl.

on that day, 14 february '06.

valentine's day.

that day the boy knew.

its gonna be the last time he ever gonna give the girl a gift personally.

bcos that year he will graduate.

and move on with life.

leaving his crush, behind.

he was quite sad that day.

in the early tuesday morning.

accompanied by is close friends.

who knew he might act out something stupid when that beautiful girl comes round the corridor.

the boy was now filled with nervousness & happiness at the same time.

his feelings mixed inside him.

squirming around his body, making him shook a little.

time for assembly is about to start.

and still no sign of the girl.

"patience."

thats what he told to himself.

and much later, he saw the girl.

she was coming round the corner of the corridor.

he can see her clearly.

he intercepted her right outside the back door of the school's gym.

she was kinda shocked when the boy called out her name.

their eyes met for a while.

the boy was feeling great.

he felt quite happy.

especially when looking into the girl's eye.

those eyes are not of the usual type.

its the most beautiful he had seen. (and still does).

then the boy wish her a happy valentine's day.

and handed over a rose & a bag of gift.

the girl smiled & said something.

something soft.

it was so unclear.

becos the boy is not listening to what she is saying.

he was hypnotized by those mesmerizing eyes.

long it may have been but no.

all that happened in less than minute.

it was fast.

yet the feeling seems to last til now.

fresh in the boy's mind.

they then part off.

the boy knew he never stood a chance in getting her.

but he just couldn't hide his feelings.

now, about more than a year on.

the boy still loves her.

but this time.

this time he can hide his feelings.

no more of showing it.

as being friends is all she can offer to the boy.

however, their terms as friends is what is call as 'fair-weathered' friends.

sad.

the boy had gotten used to feel it.

no longer feel those urge of pain to tell her that he loves her.

he had told her countless times.

she should know.

love you girl :)

wish you happiness in your life.

God bless.

.

inBlack&Red,

the boy.

-.-

YO YO!!
ehmm.
in review to last post, about love.
argh hell no.
im withdrawing myself from falling into it.
cos she already met her match.
haha.
suckersss.
nvm.
im not sad.
im happy.
happy for her laa.
forcing get u to nowhere.

okae. so im still schooling.
all the other schools: biz, engine,IT & AS are having their hols.
cos they like finish their exams a couple o weeks ago.
as for my school, DESIGN, no exams. & hardly, no holidays too.
-.-
screww man.. screw... screw the DESIGN SYSTEMMM!!!
lol.

anyway while doin my work, i find time for DOTA!
LOL.
im new so i was like so ....................
hahaha.
so i usually stayed late in school with my friends.
wen we had had enuf of doin work, we whack the comp labs!
wooohoooo!
haha.
suckerss..

what else to say ah...
ohh yah.
2 weeks ago teachers' day.
so me & my friends met up & went back to our former school.
it was destruction.
know why?
cos our school undergoing PRIME.
dunno la some upgrading works.
and the school hall is DOWN!
NO MORE.
sad mann..
it holds lotsa memories.
from the greatest such as graduation day..O level results..O level exams...to the sucky ones like assembly times!
haha.
treasured those sucky times anyway.
cos i'll get to see my crush. :)
those were the sweet times man..
haizz.. justt the feeling of being in love is great.
^^,

okay aniwae.
so after that teachers day,
went to sentosa to celebrate Najib's birthday.
he turned 18 that day.
yeahh..
so it was all fun though the rain celebrated together with us at the PALAWAN BEACH.
haha.
after that we separated for home.

nothing much.
im just here.
waiting to just feel love...someday.



inBlack&Red,
` samarra .

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

i'm falling in love!

thats it man!

history repeats itself!

oh mann..

what in the worlddd...

puppy love??

or wad..

its not that i'm phobia of love.

its just that i wish that when i fall in love wif the person, i want to marry her & hence make her my life-partner.

but then. if you look at this world now.

tell me how many ppl in relationship are faithful??

im sick of hearing ppl breakin up.

sometimes pity them too.

say its a part & parcel of life.

when u're in a relationship, (trust, understanding & love) is important.

important as in freaking damn important, dammit.

arrgghhh..

help me.

God, grant that i shall never seek so much to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, or to be loved as to love with all my heart...WITH ALL MY HEART.

` inBlack&Red .

samarra

the end of 2nd Block! pheww..

here i am.
happy & free.
just finished the 2nd Block yesterday.
i mean the study system in my school.
so its like a month for each block.
and so the toughest one (modelmaking & 2dArtFun) finally ended yesterday.
damn im damn happy.
and so are my friends.
gotta say past 2 weeks only gotta sleep for less than 5 hours.
been stayin up late doin work.
INSOMNIA!
nola. hah.
so today & tmrw just wanna relaxx.
woohooo...

but then fcuk........

& nearly frgt.
been sayin lotssa this nice words during the past week in school.
haha.
stress la. many others did too.
so our class is always filled with nice, sweet vocabulary.

and so i was saying FCUK..............
next monday next block starts.

engineering drawing & design history & culture.
just hope this one is not that tough.
haha.
school is tough.
but i just really enjoyed it.
i mean its fun okae in design.
fun as in reallie freaking damn great.
haha. hell yeahh!
just love my friends.
now we're much more closer than before.
we've started seeing deeper emotions & behaviours & attitudes.
yeaa.
so i gotta say tt im nt that sad in realising the fact tt im the only malay guy in this year's batch.

and well.. i've started developing feelings.
feelings for this friend of mine.
she's someone different.
not many girls are like her.
she's not like the other girls. ('Not Like The Other Girls' - The Rasmus)
haha.
yeaa.
but i really dont wanna crash in now.
i just dont want to.
i dunwan to make the same mistake.
i just let things come by.
i dunwan to search.
haizz.
okae. blablabla.

black rose still in mind.

ritess so thats all about it.

i just wanna be happy.
make others happy.
and tts it.
world peace!
hah.

inBlack&Red
` samarra .