to be loved, as to love with all my heart. ALL MY HEART :)

The chime of your bangle breaks the silence of the night
The moon fades away, hiding behind the curtain of clouds
Stars go twinkling like those that sparkle in your eyes
Your presence fills up where emptiness in my life once lived
Enchanting smile of which knows well to banish all but bliss
That touch of your hand as soft as those of petals by the rose

Charm danced only before you
Mesmerizing steps that dare hypnotize my eyes
Your entrance disseminate of what may seem of hope
To help me get through this nightmare of mine
Which swallow me into its darkest side
Leaving no colour of emotion flow within me

Never have I been able to define the word ‘happiness’
Til` the day I see you smile of love and care
Beyond love is where you have taken me
To where all feelings are born and how they are born
I found the answers to mine
And you found the answers to yours

So why remain veiled, oblivious to what had happen
Its been some time since you stood in your own shadow
Only whispers of the wind became your companion
Uttering none but white lies and heart-breaking truths
Don`t let your light of love fade off
Someone who`s living in his nightmare, needs it.




black will paint over white,
& red will stain it.

` samarra .

first day of school.

-
-




















-
first day of school.
last day of mourn.

new smell.
same ol` touch.

burst of excitement.
crashes of sadness.

loss of gain.
gain of loss.

comes to be.
goes once had.

impending joy.
downfall sickness.

reminiscence inevitable.
forgotten immortal.
-
-
the first day of my life,
ended.
right there,
where you stood.
casting shadows,
upon the light..
..you once guided me with.
-
-
Hier kommt die sonne.
here comes the sun.
-
-
-
-
black will paint over white,
& red will stain it.
` samarra .

If We Hold On Together

If We Hold On Together :)

Listen to the music video above (next post).
& read the lyrics...
it brings back childhood memories...
:)


Don't lose your way
With each passing day
You've come so far
Don't throw it away
Live believing
Dreams are for weaving
Wonders are waiting to start
Live your story
Faith, hope & glory
Hold to the truth in your heart

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I

Souls in the wind
Must learn how to bend
Seek out a star
Hold on to the end
Valley, mountain
There is a fountain
Washes our tears all away
Words are swaying
Someone is praying
Please let us come home to stay

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I

When we are out there in the dark
We'll dream about the sun
In the dark we'll feel the light
Warm our hearts, everyone

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
As high as souls can fly
The clouds roll by
For you and I

---


ohh my God!!!!
i dont know what is happening to me!!!!
damn this song is so sweet & touching.
i dont know what makes me listen to this.
fyi, its a damn old song.
but the lyrics are just meaningful.
nice melody.
zomg im so emotional.
dammit!!!!
but what the hell.
i love it, alright.

to all my friends out there!
this song is for you all!
:)))
love you people,
beautiful souls God have gave me the opportunity to meet in life.
may God bless you, always.

:)


anyway, this song is from the movie 'Land Before Time'. Disney.

FUBAR !

-



















-
situation here going out of control !
waaa damn sucks laaa.
i shivered at the though of it.
and it still lingers.
-
damn. it. !
FUBAR !!!
totally.
CODE RED!!! CODE RED!!!
-
-
-
black will paint over white,
& red will stain it.
` samarra .

a hellot of tasks.

-




















-
so elective paperworks were sent thru email.
and i downloaded them to desktop.
and then.
and then.
and then i never open.
hahaha.
-
shit laa. i must get back into schools mindset: discipline and all the shits.
okayy, i dont recall having much discipline since i entered poly.
i've been a wild freako-
okayy enough.
anyway i did open the files later on.
just skimmed thru. blabla.
anyway i'm picking up the Marketing For Designers (mekdes).
not pick ahh.. given. hah.
-
and again my class for this module,
i'm the only malay.
zzz.
but no worries i can blend.
hah! gona spam all the chinese words i know.
spam? cheh. like as if i know alot.
but well, atleast the basics.
okayy full stop for schoolstuffs.
-
next is the fishing organisation.
me & some friends setting it up.
website.
woohoo. damn we completed the basic steps alredy.
slowly advance. need to recru-
i mean psych-
okay. simply get more anglers out there to join us.
right. cant say much yet.
this just a trailer people!
hahahaha.
oh ya! any anglers reading this,
contact me! kkk. :)
okok. fullstop.
-
haizz.
the last task.
not the least.
dammit.
like as if i gona write it up here.
but hell i need to rush this.
i NEED to make it a nice one.
okay. done.
basically i can just not put this up here.
zzz.
end.
-
-
-
black will paint over white,
& red will stain it.
` samarra .

silence, can you hear it ?

-
-























-
-
as quietly as it starts,
it ends.
scarring a mark so deep.
like the love that breathes,
every day, every night.
refining the meaning to my life.
right into my soul,
into the abyss of the heart.
-
for the second time,
the black rose born before my eyes.
i knew it`s birth is inevitable,
but the heart is just too unyielding,
lying to itself.
to continue believing that its just another lie.
but how long can it last?
for the truth has revealed itself.
-
this silent murder,
such exruciating pain.
like cold ice plunging frost,
bit by bit into my soul.
freezing the heart.
isolating it from a feeling,
which brings warmth and happiness:
love, is dead.
-
what will become of me?
when all the feelings i have for you,
just dissappear.
tis` not a regret.
for all that is of me,
is sincere and true.
because i truly love you.
-
-
-
have you ever sacrificed your own happiness,
for someone you love so much?
-
-
i did, with sincerity,

out of love.

-
-
black will paint over white,
& red will stain it.
` samarra .

TEAR MY HEART OPEN !

-

-

DON`T HOLD ME UP NOW !

-

I CAN STAND MY OWN GROUND !

-

I DON`T NEED YOUR HELP NOW !

-

YOU WILL LET ME DOWN DOWN DOWN !

-

-

-

i just wondered.

if pain is all you would offer me,

why the thought of you bring a smile to my face?

-

-

-

-

-

black will paint over white,

& red will stain it.

` samarra .

drifting away .

-

-
sick of the red colour changing to blue when i post here.
why like that ah?
anybody knows?
i will be greatful if anyone can help with it.
-
okayy anway another illustration by me.
im freaking bored. thats why.
zzz. where's my life...
-
you're just pouring salt into my open wound.
POUR MORE!!!!
let it end.
why would you care.
-
gone.
-
-
-
black will paint over white,
& red will stain it.
` samarra .

birth of another black rose .

-

-

you have no idea what this means.

neither you have any idea how painful it is.

to witness another black rose born.

scar my heart, scar my soul.

-

-

-

black will paint over white,

& red will stain it.

` samarra .

paperHEART

one of those kinds of paper hearts.

was folded while thinkin` of you.

that night you`re there.

:PP

you don't know! wahaha.

-

-

-

heck :(

i don`t want to ruin this friendship.

neither do i want to lose you.

but letting go is part & parcel of life...

:'(

black will paint over white,

& red will stain it.

` samarra .

:)

-

-

-

-

Light Fishing

-

well went for a 'light' fishing this morn with Regu.

fished at low tide.
not quite a plan, so well.. lets just see the pics.
hahaa.

-

-

Pasir Ris Park, right at the end. :)

that pinkish jelly is jellyfish. kinda chewy. hahaa.

a starfish!

another jellyfish. its still alive by the way.

a small lonely growth in this kinda place?

first, & only, catch of the day. decent size eel.

thats the water horse. hehe. its still breathing.

cool eh. the kind of postcard picture. hah.

a dragonfly on the tip of my fishing rod.

dark clouds bringing rain, that make us pack up & head off.

-
-
-
black will paint over white,
& red will stain it.

` samarra .

my illustration! - a rose :)

first & foremost, the blue background is SUPPOSED to be red!

& the rose SUPPOSED to be in black!

i don't know what in the world happen.

=.=''

btw this picture is illustrated using Adobe Illustrator CS2.

wanted to edit more but well i'm burned out for now.

ohh, & i don't have photoshop yet.

well so, its as rough as it can be.

just a simple artpiece.

:)

black will paint over white,

& red will stain it.

` samarra .

something happy to talk about :)

BLEACHbleachBLEACH.


ICHIGO , RUKIA , CHAD , ISHIDA , INOUE .


FIRST STRIKE.


INTO SOUL SOCIETY.


FACE OFF!
FIGHTING THE ENEMY WITHIN.

HOW WILL YOU VANQUISH YOUR DARK SIDE?
ICHIGO BANKAI, HOLLOW.

-
okayy.
the Queen of Spam, Xinger, recently tagged me.
and requested i talk something about BLEACH.
wahaha.
so yeaa okay.

okayy basically i started watching BLEACH quite long ago.
not long laa, in poly life. means just a year back.
it started with Alvin, a friend of mine.
he showed me an episode of BLEACH.
so i just watch lo.

guess what?
its damn funny!
hahaa.
thats what i like.
i like things that make me laugh & smile.
well of course for the good reasons. :)
hehe.

okok. so BLEACH.
yepp. just a few days after that...
I BEGAN WATCHING!
aww dangerous.
you know why?
`cause its addictive!
WAHAHA!!!
seriously.

well some people don't like anime.
but too bad. i love it!
its something that makes me happy!!!
well, of course, something to distract me from the sadness.
ohh, whatever. hah.

so BLEACH is just a start.
my first anime.
damn BLEACH just gets better by episodes.
i love it laa.
summore my friend, Xinger, is an anime freak.
wahaha. anyway thats what she called herself.
yeahh. so by that name you know what she is.
she SPAM animes! SPAMMER! nyahaha.
so i need sources for BLEACH, no trouble. XD
she IS the source.
wahaha.

so today, i finished watching episode 166.
waiting for 167!
its nowhere to be found!
Xinger thought 167 is the last laa, but actually its NOT!
its not even aired in Japan yet!
means, won't reach Singapore that soon.
you know how sad is that?
that, is damn sad. :(

zzz...
hmm...
ohh ya!
there's this BLEACH movie!!!
Xinger said she gonna bring speaker to school!
so can watch together. wahaha!
thats it man.. maybe SUBWOOFER!
tear down the lab. hehe.
nyahaha..
so thats it about BLEACH. heh.

okayy. well. what else is there to say?
hmm...
i dunno. heh.
well i guess i go do something.
tomorrow gonna go fishing with Regu.
light fishing. not gonna spent much.
saving up money to buy REEL!
SHIMANO REEL!
okayy. save money first.
heh.
than later on in the evening go chill out with him again & Shamir.
whitesands MAC.

sometimes just sitting down and talk is kinda shiok.
talk talk. since we don't meet up that often. hahaa.
yeahh. so tomorrow abit occupied for me.
rather than rotting at home. wahaha.

alrights.
gottago then.
seeya peeps!

i miss my friends.
i miss you.


Black will paint over White,
& Red will stain it.

` samarra .

KIWI !

heh. something to smile about.
:)

DSDS - Cry On My Shoulder

If the hero, never comes to you
If you need someone, you're feeling blue
If you wait for love, and you're alone
If you call your friends, nobody's home
You can rum away, but you can't hide
Through a storm and through a lonely night
Then I'll show you there's a destiny
The best things in life, they are free

But if you wanna cry: cry on my shoulder
If you need someone, who cares for you
If you're feeling sad, your heart gets colder
Yes I show you what real love can do

If your sky is grey oh let me know
There's a place in heaven, where we'll go
If heaven is, a million years away
Oh just call me and I'll make your day
When the nights are getting cold and blue
When the days are getting hard for you
I will always stay by your side
I promise you, I'll never hide

But if you wanna cry: cry on my shoulder
If you need someone, who cares for you
If you're feeling sad, your heart gets colder
Yes I show you what real love can do

But if you wanna cry: cry on my shoulder
If you need someone, who cares for you
If you're feeling sad, your heart gets colder
Yes I show you what real love can do

//

to me this song is simply lovely.
lyrics, meaningful.
video,touching.

:)

back, but nothing ? ):

today is the sickest feeling my heart ever felt.
sickest for this as in damn sad. hardcore.
but too bad.
i`m surpassing it.
`cause i have vowed to shut down my melancholic feelings.
sucks ehh.
all the way until i can finally vanquish my heart. heh.

you know, i`ve never hate to love.
i`m just afraid,
you might change that perception of mine.
erghh. okok. nono.
i will always love,
those who cherish me.
and those i cherish.

anyway you know what?
maybe i should have told you everything.
everything, right from the beginning.
so you will know.
maybe concealing isn`t good eh.
i can speak out the truth.
just that it`s gonna be a hell for you to take.

samir samir..
you`re a mess.

see, i live a simple life.
but i made a mess of myself.
hmm...
what in the freaking world.
there you go.
love is a hella dangerous thing.
for me laa, alamak.
not saying dangerous for anyone.

well whatever it is.
i`m still okay for now.
stable stable!
wahaha.
just rotting at home.
gonna go extinct.
soon!

lets go...
bermuda triangle!
anybody? :)




black will paint over white,
& red will stain it.

` samarra .

all because of you :)

All because of you

I believe in angels

Not the kind with wings

No, not the kind with halos

The kind that bring you home

When home becomes a strange place.

I'll follow your voice

All you have to do is shout it out !


extracted from Rise Against's Good Left Undone.

black will paint over white,

& red will stain it

` samarra .

silence, kills.

this is just becoming dreadful.
the nights getting colder.
warmth of your presence, gone.
where are you?
where'd you go?
i miss you so.

i`d be damned.
God, i`m pathetic.
who in the friggin` world am i?
sheesh.
i`m on my way to the core of my heart.
to find the meaning to my life.

we talked about it before.
about the true meaning to life.
do you remember?
well i`m going for it.
to discover what my heart truly seek.
the definition to my existence.

i just want you to know.
that i`ll be striving to fortify my heart.
to make it stronger.
you also have to, right?
i hope you`re doing good.
i know you are.

well just in case.
i`d be there to fend you.
because i know.
you need more help than i do.
my eyes had seen past your smiles.
there lies sadness behind.

i will henceforth isolate my heart.
lock it down from melancholic emotions.
erase all the unnecessaries.
gather all the happiness in me.
and strengthen the core of the heart.
after which, i`ll seek my definition.



and if i should fail...,






NO!






FAILURE DOES NOT EXIST IN MY DAMN DICTIONARY !!!





black will paint over white,
& red will stain it.

` samarra .

heh. where are you?

-

okayy.

i dont know what to blog.

crap. this is ftw.

zzz.

-

haizz.

my days and nights have been long & dry.

plus silent.

damn i`m missing you lots.

its heavy to breathe with your absence.

because you are the -

-

WAAA STOPP THINKING ABOUT HER LAAAAA !!!!!

COME TO THINK OF IT !!!

ITS FREAKING DAMN IMPOSSIBLE SAMIRRRRR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!

-

alright. whatthefuck.

i let my guard down.

sheesh, dammit.

i`m going against logic.

heh. but my heart is with me so -

-

THERE YOU GO AGAIN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BLABBING ABOUT LOVE SHITS !!!!!!!!!!!!

CAN`T YOU JUST DENY IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHE DOESN`T GIVE A DAMN SHIT ABOUT YOUUUUUUUUU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-

i love every single bit about her.

the way she does things,

simply who she is.

and damn it, she does care about me.

well of course, we`re great friends.

its beautiful enough alright.

i love her as a -

-

WOII STOP DREAMING LAA !!!!!!!!!

COME BACK TO REALITY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU THINK SHE GONNA EVER ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR LOV-

-

heh. keep your damn ass voice silent.

you can`t control me anymore.

i have a choice. you freaking hell don`t.

because you are just my thoughts.

remains of those i labeled detrimental,

of those i have vanquished.

you`re finished, you`re done for.

-

now acknowledge this!

when i make a decision, i do it.

i`m responsible for it,

i will carry it out, no matter what.

i just want to let her know,

of my heart`s content.

to tell her, that she made a difference in my life.

and that i miss her,

more than i do yesterday :)

-

and you!

you`re gonna freaking die!

DEATH BY MY HEART !!!

i will be the one,

TO LEAVE YOU IN THE MISERY & HATE THAT YOU`VE BECOME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

black will paint over white,

& red will stain it.

` samarra .

Missin` You :)

I miss you more...

...than I do yesterday !

God, I'm in love...
This is dangerous. ;'(

you told me not to think too much

So you want to know?
I will tell you.
In the darkest hours, you failed to shield your heart.
To have love, the heart is susceptible to hatred and jealousy.
Poison.
Thats what they are.
Killing you from the core of your heart.
Torturing you.
Turning you into somebody you are not.

Confused.
You just don’t seem to understand yourself.
What is love, actually?
It does not only brings happiness.
But sorrows alike.
The scar, the wound.
As fresh as your love can be.
When the heart is confounded,
Many evil thoughts may appear.

Your true colours.
Only when you are driven to a corner,
When all else fails, when help is gone.
That is when your mask will be broken.
Your true self reveals itself.

Now that you know.
Only true, pure love will last.
It may scar the heart,
Burn it to ashes.
Push you beyond your limits.
What can you do?
Only persist, only persevere.
Pain is just temporary.
It is what lies at the end that matter.
The glory, the victory.

However, remember.
When you love,
Do not hurt others’ feelings.
Please...



Anyway, those reading my blog.
Take note.
I’m not some kind of emo kid.
Not depressed or stress or whatever.
I’m a normal person,
With feelings.
I have lots of thoughts running through my mind.
Mostly, they are beautiful thoughts.
Sometimes, they’re not.
It kills to think too much.
Hahaa. My friend told me to stop from thinking too much.
At least i know someone cares. :)
Hmm...
Thoughts...
I am trying to protect my heart,
From succumbing to its evil side.
These kind of posts, like the one above, are not directed at anyone.
It is just another thought of mine.
And the beautiful ones, are FOR someone.
But that someone doesn’t knows.
but she'll know it, soon.
i guess.


Black will paint over White,
& Red will stain it.