Saturday, May 31, 2008

don`t know what thing.

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Some questions. Tagged by friend. So try to post up. Erms. =.=

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1)At what age do you wish to marry?

Not young but not older than 30.

2)Study hard or play hard?

Both hardcore! erms. =.=

3)Who is the person you trust the most?

Myself. For if i can`t trust myself, how do i trust others.

4)Do you think you have enough confidence?

Being determined, i have the confidence.

5)If you have a dream to come true, what would it be?

Achieve all the goals i have in life, & die a good muslimin.

6)Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after it rains?

No doubts.

7)What is your goal this year?

Main goal is to pull back up my gpa. The other2 goals not important laa to you all kk. Hahaa..

8)Do you believe in eternal love?

I believe in it. And so i will.

9)Have you broken someone's heart that he or she tried to commit suicide?

=.=

10)What feeling do you love the most?

The good stress. & pandemonium. :X

11)What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?

Most importantly, trust & understanding. I asked for such if ONLY i possess it too.

12)What feelings do you hate the most?

The feeling like you got used & wasted. Fcuk.

13)Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?

With my life, yes.

14)Do you believe in god?

Allah the Almighty. YES!!!

15)What do you think is the most important thing in life?

Being who you are.

16)Who do you hope to be there always?

Those whom i love & cherish.

17)Whose your best friend?

Its best friend(S)! They know who they are. :)

18)Who cares about you the most?

My family, friends.

19)Describe the person who tagged you in 5 words?

Funny, lame, nice, joker and cute. (the cute part is not what you think it is. okok :)

20)What is trust?

Something which isolate that feeling of fear that what you had not expect, will happen.
My definition!

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yay!!! done-ded.

Friday, May 30, 2008

induction project . PID

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havent get a grp photo yet.
but here's our scooter platform.
only one picture, sadded.
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last minute, got a snag.
gonna settle it tomorrow.
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still have hope.
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GLHF* to the riders.
may safety be with you all.
:)
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* GOOD LUCK , HAVE FUN
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spamzation of spray cans.
CFC ahh mind you!
HAHAHA!
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damn i`m not feeling good.

am i depressed?

i hope not.

:(

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

it`s been some time .


Long before I could remember.
I was watching sunsets, everyday.
Every day, after you went away.
Wondering as warmth fades out.
Thinking back why you leave.
Disappearing with my hope.
Leaving me behind.
Taking no memories we shared.
I felt that cold biting into me.
Like the creeping night.
Voiding me of all that I am.
To be what you needed me to be.
Redefining myself in the final moments.
Yet still, I failed miserably.
I had went too far to find no hope.
Only screaming silence that accompany.
With invisible scars in the half-beating heart.
I cried watching it again.
Growing beautifully with pain.
Blossoming with a non-existent hope.
A deadly blessing to hide.
The black rose seized as my amaranth.
I could have told when I can.
A murderous guilt shows not itself more soon.
Than love that would seem hid: love's night is noon
.
The moments we had together.
It`s all about you.
Your laughter, your joke, your lame-ness.
There is something to it that we pretended not to heed.
Alas, here I am staring at the night sky.
Looking back to when we first met.
It was all over.
All that`s left are memories.
Memories that kills to re-live.
Maybe I tried too hard.
I tried too hard to save an unborn love.



S0me thIngs Y0u wIll N 3 V 3 R understand,
and never wIll :)
underSTAND m3?


black will paint over white,
& red will stain it,

` samarra .

Saturday, May 24, 2008

i miss you .

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Upon the silent nights my heart remember the forgotten
Hearing lies where truths remained unspoken
I thrived too far with my heart left open
To try to save an unborn love

Existent hope lost its way
Stuck in between black and red
Disappear before my eyes that looked over you
Like a flash that blinds feelings for you

Tears from your starry eyes
And silence from your strawberry lips
It destroyed the definition of love
A stranger in your life now I am.

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i hope you`re doing fine.
shed no more tears from your eyes.
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black will paint over white,
& red will stain it.
` samarra .

Friday, May 23, 2008

Friendship ; Love ; Truth

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the picture is just something i illustrated.
& want to relate this entry about.
i want to edit with photoshop but dont know how to use :(
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in any case,
its about friendship, love & truth.
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basically i want to warn that my entry is not directed at anyone, living or dead.
if you feel that its you, then what can i say.
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i`m lazy to beat around the bush and talk generally so i`ll just bomb straight into what i want to deliver.
okayy so i just feeling rather sick of whats happening among all of us.
FRIENDS!
yess. they are people whom one knows, likes and trusts.
even though its just like kind of a normal friends, by calling them 'friends', means there`s no such thing as evil intentions on him/her.
am i right?
why would you want to call someone a friend when he/she will harm you in life?
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FFRRRRRIIIIIEEEEEEEEEENNDDDDDDSSSSS!
i just don`t know why some of them are pure hardcore backstabbers.
pulling our legs and stepping over our heads.
don`t think i don`t know.
listen here! do you think i`m being paranoid.
helllooo! i`m speaking the damn truth.
but i can`t force you to follow my view.
there`s always two sides to every story.
i`m sick of calling you my friend when you only walk away when i need help.
i`m sick of calling you my friend when you tell me lies so i can suffer.
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i don`t understand what are going in the thoughts of these kind of people.
if you want to be the best, be it.
but why? why hurt your friends` feelings.
i`m not jealous or anything for you to be the best.
why should i be jealous for?
doesn`t benefit me in anyway.
i will be damn happy to see my friend succeed in life.
to see them happy.
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but damn, life is like that huh?
so backstabbing is normal.
lies are nothing.
AND SEEING YOUR FRIENDS SUFFER IS THE BEST DAMN ENTERTAINMENT YOU CAN WATCH!

AM I DAMN RIGHT?!

DAMN RIGHT I AM!!

those hypocrites roaming among us.
fuck i`m disgusted by their actions.
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begone hatred.
i don`t need you in my life.
i have other people to live and love for.
to my friends, i love you people so much.
thanks for making me smile when i`m feeling down.
thanks for lending that helping hand when i`m carrying a heavy burden.
thanks for appreciating me for who i am and not what i am.
and most importantly,
thanks,

for letting me into your life. :)
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i hope we all can be friends ALL together again.
end this conflict, this hatred.
learn to love.
thats what living life is all about.
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black will paint over white,
& red will stain it.
` samarra .

Thursday, May 22, 2008

what to write ?

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first & foremost, I MISS MY HAIRR!
oh, fyi, my hair is on number 3.
so its like short. but not that short.
like as in u can pick the hair.
hahaa. okay stop talking about my hair.
just have to be patient for it to grow! :)
HAHA!
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well yesterday went for the PID Chalet despite CAID assignment still undone.
imagine going to a chalet to do school work!
thats damn sian ahh. but i paid so just go.
anyway do work with friends you will hardly fall asleep.
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erm. okayy.
okay i have to take back my previous sentence.
i DID sleep. kinda doze off once in a while too.
gotta thank Cheris for being that alarm whenever my eyelids close longer than it should.
she kept motivating all of us to complete our work. yeahh!
did enjoy some bits of chalet fun though.
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finally now after submission!
freedom!
damn i`m so gonna appreciate every bit of this holiday.
hahaa.
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black will paint over white,
& red will stain it.
` samarra .

Thursday, May 15, 2008

why don`t you just, leave?

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i have had enough.
how many times must i see:
you putting up your mask,
only to break it so soon.
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not even time can tell,
how long this has been.
for time too,
can`t change you.
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just mirror yourself,
before spitting evil words of others.
then if you can`t face that reflection,
gladly Coup de Grace yourself.
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if you can`t trust yourself,
then how can you trust others?
if you`re the one with the rotten core,
why not change yourself first?
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life is full of colours.
its white for start.
the chalks of colours you pick.
you scratched it black, why ask me?
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why build friendship?
and make the bond closer.
to only break it in the end.
or breaking it, bit by bit?
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*****
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i desire not to shout.
nor to scream or act.
my patience has it's limits.
i am fair enough to FUCKING GODDAMN PUSH IT BEYOND FOR YOU!
SO IF YOU WANNA FUCKING WASTE TIME, LEAVE! JUST DIE!
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you harm her or make her cry,
you will pay for it, dearly.
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black will paint over white,
& red will stain it.
` samarra .

Monday, May 12, 2008

BACK TO THE PAST !!! :)


OMG!

seriously i didnt know why suddenly i like listen back to old school songs.
hah..
stupid lame songs-
nono.

at that point of time its cool and awesome.
great songs.
well now that time has passed
and we've gotten older,
those songs are kinda like remembrance of our childhood memories.

damn, now i laughed at the music videos lo..
when back then i use to like "hell yeahhhh!!!"
HAH!
oh yaa, those of my favourite songs are before this post.
quite a few of them.
go listen!!! the tune are all very nice and catchy.
maybe can help u remember some happy gay memories too?
WAHAHAA.
gay as in happy ahh..
yeahh.

haa.. gosh how did i came to relive this.
i oso dont know sia.
hahaa.
okayy laa.. gotta go off..
tataa..
hahaa..

go listen to the music videos BELOWWWW!!!!!!!
can make you SLEEP.......... NOOOOTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!
heh.



black will paint over white,
& red will stain it
`samarra .

Vengaboys - Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom!!

one of my faves laa!!
boom ! boom ! boom ! boom !
:)

Vengaboys-Shalala Video

the song is nice and awesome.
but the music video...
i think this my first time watchin it.
all the while only audio.

damn the video is like wtf.
kinda like rubbish.
hah.

Toy-Box - The Sailor-Song

titanic?
rofl!
the chorus is like so deeeeeeeeeeeep!
hahahaa...

Toy-Box - Best Friend

best friends` song!
hahaa.
goshh..

Aqua - Barbie Girl

LOL!
PLASTIC GIRLS!
WAHAHAA!

Spice Girls - Wannabe

very hip song. hah.
well for those times of course.
its kinda funny looking back at all the
dance moves..
kind of like thrashing around.
hahaaa.

so the Spice Girls wanna zig-a-zig-hah?
haha.. ftw is that.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

only what i feel like writing.


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small cute lil` bird with wings.
had trouble with flying.
want to help it out but it kept flying away...
...and then fall back down.
kinda sad for it.
but later on it flew to a place i can`t reach.

T.T

well i just hope it can fly out to freedom real soon.

:)

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anyway me & some others thrive on again for our CAD Assignment One.
i`m modelling a fishing reel.
its name is Shimano Fireblood.
there it is:

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cool design yeah?

but i had to customise some parts to simpler types.

hope it doesn`t handicap this awesome design.

T.T

because not that stable yet with AliasStudio.

hmm. just hope can finish modelling and rendering by tmrw night.

monday is submission!

yeahh. so gampate people!

JUST CARRY ON !!!
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just carry on...

just carry on...

just carry on...

I MISS YOU !!! :(

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black will paint over white

& red will stain it.

` samarra .

Monday, May 05, 2008

reminders of YOU.


lately have been busy with schoolwork.
non-stop assignments.
hell lot of sleepless nights.
my body system going down i guess.

this morning experienced an unusual shiver.
felt cold for some time.
yeahh, kinda sick.
anyway today need to hand in an important assignment.
made it through in the evening just now.

but still lotsa work piling in.
i cant imagine how fast this life can go.
things are happening too fast.
getting out of control.

where do the moments for your love ones goes?
in this fast lane of life, remember not to forget these special people.
for we will not feel their existence while being engrossed in work.
but we WILL feel their ABSENCE when they leave our life.

i don`t know how long i can hold out.
getting down with the sickness.
i can`t do much than to live through this nightmare.
i may have the will and the determination to get through.
but when i get through, what lies ahead?
still a blank.
vast of nothingness.

i miss those people close to my life.
they`re everywhere.
near and far.
i do think about them.
thinking how are they doing now.

talk about closeness.
the thing that attracts BOTH happiness AND sorrow is an open heart.
a heart left open for people to share feelings with.
left open, so as to only let the truths spill.
however when you leave an open heart for too long,
it invites the uninvited.
know what i mean?

i don`t feel like elaborating further.
i`m feeling rather sick now.
guess i need rest.
well yeah.

well before i end, i just want to tell my readers.
even for one whole day you are very busy,
take a moment to remember the ones you love & cherish.
for you will never know when they will leave your life.

to the girl,
i`ve had had a moment filled with thoughts of you.
i just want to know,
that you `re happy.

i just don`t know.
my open heart was left open far too long...


inBlack&Red
` samarra .