Friday, February 26, 2016

lost space & sanity.

coming home to dinner almost everyday after work.
no longer i would take the bus to Toa Payoh interchange and meet you there for dinner.
or even to Novena, or Fareast Plaza, or town... anywhere.
even at times straight to your aunt's place where we would order delivery.
sometimes you became the chef and cook up meals for me.
other days might just call for instant noodles.
no matter what it is, it was love.
so, so much love.

but now i felt so empty.
after work i felt like there is no place to go.
not that i do not appreciate home.
just that a part of my life which had been ongoing is gone.
i hang out with friends, picked up photography, walked alone at night in parts of Singapore.
still lost.

i couldn't think straight but i am for sure thinking about you.
and i really miss you so much.
its so fucking bad that i am becoming confused.
all these emotions are just sitting in my head and fighting one another.
like how it is now as i typed this entry.
not even knowing what i'm doing anymore.
what is this feeling supposed to be?

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